Christmas Eve Tragedy

December 24, 2008

At 1:15 pm, Christmas eve, my grandmother died. What a way to spend Christmas!

She has been sick for some time. We expected this. But it doesn't make the pain any easier to bear.

The last time I saw her was last November. She seemed fine.

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a hot compress pack for her legs. Just like the one my sister bought from Japan. She liked that. She always had pain in her legs. My dad sent some packages to Davao for them yesterday. I forgot to include my gift. I promised myself I that I'd ask my parents to give it to her the next time they went to Davao. My parents are flying to Davao tomorrow, nobody to give it to anymore.

I miss her so much. I didn't talk to her a lot but she didn't seem to mind. There was nothing to be said, she understood that. She knew how much I preferred to listen. She'd tell me stories about her childhood or about the telenovelas she watched or about her day to day life. I enjoyed listening to her.

Our phone conversation is always short and always the same: She would say "Hi Cute! How are you?"
And I would answer: "Cute pa rin!" (Still cute!)
To which she would add: "Mana sa Lola!" (Just like her Grandma!)
And that was it. It was our way of telling each other not to worry, we're fine. I expected to have a conversation like that tonight, when we'd call her to say Merry Christmas!

I miss seeing her laugh whenever I played with her wheelchair or dance around with her cane. She would make me sweet bananas or gulaman with milk since she knows how much I love them. She was a fantastic cook!

There's been quite a lot of deaths in my family this year. Last February, my other grandmother (my mom's mother) also passed away. At the end of October, it was my Auntie Linda. And now, another grandma.

It's Christmas eve and the house is trying to keep the Christmas spirit. A quit sob can be heard here and there. I was hoping to get dressed and look pretty for tonight. It's kinda hard with red, puffy eyes. I feel like we're not allowed to celebrate. But with a tradgedy like this, who could? I wonder how Noche Buene will be like.

Tomorrow is Christmas day. The plan was that our cousins and aunt would come over and we'd all have Christmas as a family. Now I'm not sure if the plan will push through. My parents are leaving for Davao first thing tomorrow. Incomplete during Christmas. That sucks!

Amah, you will be missed!